I Love My Penis Bum Bag, Novelty Waist Bag

Hip bag with a heart and a blunt statement

Frechstoff takes the familiar I-love formula and drops in a body part people tend to stay quiet about. A red heart stands in for the word, and the rest appears in white typewriter characters on the front. Strap this on and expect questions, and laughter from the next table. The line of I, heart and MY sits on top, PENIS follows below and is set a little wider; both lines are centred. The characters carry strong horizontal terminals, and the heart is the only area of colour in the print.

Six colours, two of them camouflage

Black, grey, burgundy and royal blue are single shades. Added to those are two camouflage patterns: Jungle Camo in green and brown, and the dark Midnight Camo. Heart and type look the same on all six.

What goes in

• zipped main compartment with room for wallet, keys and phone
• second zipped compartment on the back panel
• about 2.5 litres of volume at 38 x 14 x 8 cm
• adjustable webbing, worn across the stomach or diagonally over the chest
• material: 100% polyester (600D)

Where the print sits

The type lies on the front below the zip, on the widest part of the bag. The zip itself runs right across the length, and above it passes the webbing, which closes with a side-release buckle.